28 May How to Be Kinder to Yourself | Scoop Sorority
Seek Out Alone Time
Even if you’re an extrovert who draws energy from social interactions, you still need your daily dose of alone time. Learning to be comfortable in your own company is not only an invaluable skill, it’s also necessary for understanding yourself better.
You might be the most empathetic person out there and still struggle to be kind to yourself. By carving out a little time every day to just quietly read a book alone in your room or go for a solo walk can help you to grow comfortable in both your mind and skin.
Talk to Yourself as You Would a Friend
Remember that there’s a difference between pushing yourself to do better and constantly criticizing yourself. Every time you find your inner-dialogue turning negative, pause for a moment and ask yourself: “would I talk to a friend this way?” Probably not. So why not treat yourself with the same love and respect you shower your friends with?
Try responding to a low personal moment with reassurance rather than threats. Learn to be there for yourself like you always are for your closest friends.
Does the mere idea of being alone with your thoughts make you uneasy? That’s not a good sign. After a busy day of working non-stop and running on autopilot, it can be helpful to simply sit down and reflect.
If you want to jot things down, go ahead and crack open that fancy journal that’s been gathering dust on your bookshelf or write freely in the comfort of the handy Notes app. If you’d prefer to voice it out, voice-notes are the way to go.
If all of these sound like too much work to you, then simply mull things over in your head — that’s fine too! Just make sure to routinely allow yourself the space to introspect and reflect so that you don’t have to lie sleepless in bed every night, gripped with anxieties.
If you have a tendency to mentally berate yourself, this one’s for you. Self-affirmations work wonders for building up your self-confidence! Spend 5 minutes in front of the mirror every morning, listing at least five things you like about yourself.
This can be as simple as “I am honest” or as specific as “I always defend my friends behind their back”. When listing, try to focus on your qualities rather than your accomplishments so that you get in the habit of appreciating yourself for who you are rather than what you’ve done.
Celebrate the Small Wins
Submitted that dreaded paper at 11.59pm? Win. Did your laundry? Finally tried out that pasta recipe you found? Win and win. So often we get wrapped up in chasing the big things — degree, dream job, picket fenced life in the suburbs— we forget to live in the moment. Instead of waiting to celebrate in the future when you unlock a major milestone, make the most of the present by celebrating your little, everyday victories. Sometimes taking a shower proves more challenging than nailing an interview, so learn to give credit where credit is due.
Whether you’re mad at yourself for underperforming in a final, or not being there for someone in need, let go of the grudge you’re holding against yourself. It’s good to acknowledge your mistakes and take ownership of them, but don’t let them define you. You’re more than your GPA and better than the way you acted out of anger yesterday.
Instead of punishing yourself for your errors, treat them as a learning experience so you can be more prepared next time. There is strength in forgiveness, and responding with kindness when you mess up — especially when it comes to the things you could not have controlled — is a lot better for your personal growth than the alternative.