19 Nov How to Cope with a Breakup! | Scoop Sorority
Walking away from a relationship you put time and effort into isn’t easy.It gets even harder when A: you felt the relationship was meaningful, B: you didn’t see the breakup coming, C: thought the relationship was going somewhere or D: maybe even all of the above?
Not to worry, if you fall into any or all of these categories, you’re not alone! Breakups are difficult and officially saying goodbye to an ex not only hurts, but can also cause some confusion. This is because as human we put our whole selves into something and to come out half empty leaves us questioning who we are, our purpose and what our self-worth is.
Well, we’ve been there, done that, and have tips on some beneficial ways to cope with a breakup and get over that ex!
The first step to officially moving on is to accept what has happened. When you get invested in a relationship, it becomes a part of you, and a step in your everyday routine. When that part of your routine has suddenly gone away, it can cause an identity crisis. You begin to think “who am I?”, “What’s the point?” or a personal favorite, “we were so good together, I don’t know what happened.”
You need step out of your box, look at yourself in the mirror and realize that part of your life has now ended but your whole identity didn’t go away with it! It’s not a bad thing for a relationship to end. It’s scary but it just means it wasn’t the right time or person. Accepting that allows you to begin to move forward and to start sculpting a new better self.
Don’t Close Yourself Off
People deal with breakups in all sorts of ways, but one thing that tends to be similar is human’s inclination to close ourselves off. Don’t do this! I know it’s easier said than done but sharing your emotions with friends and family will help you heal.
At the very least it will feel good to get things off your chest, and they additionally might have a new perspective that you’re missing. Closing yourself off can make the healing process longer and can steer away potential future contenders.
I know at first it can feel dreadful to participate, in any activity for that matter but like previously stated don’t close yourself off to new plans. Go out with your friends, workout, make a meal that you love! Start participating in activities that take care of you. Make an effort to create plans.
Eventually, you will have created this whole new life for yourself and you won’t have time to sit home and sulk in your sorrows. Oh, and it doesn’t hurt if he or she sees you thriving.
Go At Your Own Speed
One of the most common pieces of advice given after a breakup is “go get out there,” as your nudged to get back into the dating scene. Go at your own pace! This is your life and you’re the main character.
If you’re ready, go out there and meet some hotties. If not, that’s okay! Wait and feel for when the time is right. When you do step back into the dating scene, make sure to do it for yourself and for no one else.
See It For What It Was
A lot of times when relationships end, we tend to grieve the potential of what could’ve been. Even more, you sit back and just reminisce on the good times. If you’re doing either of these things, you have to weigh out the good and bad.
You know that there was trouble in the relationship, otherwise you wouldn’t have broken up, which means most likely there were as many highs as there were lows. If you’re someone who didn’t see the breakup coming, realize that the other person must’ve been feeling some type of way, in which case tensions boil until they burst.
Regardless for the reason, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t appreciate the relationship! Each connection, good or bad, teaches us something that we will carry with us into our next chapter. Each connection aids in making us who we are. Alfred Lord Tennyson writes “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to haver loved at all.” Or, as Ariana Grande puts it, “Thank u, Next.”
Don’t Lurk or Engage
Being petty and creating drama certainly doesn’t help you get over an ex. Although it can be entertaining, waiting on the other end of a phone to see when he or she opens your snap, text or DM, is just an accident waiting to happen. And for that matter, lurking their social media, location or seeing if they pop up in a friend’s story is not healthy! Don’t do this.
Although you still want the details to that person’s life, you no longer have access. Lurking and engaging in toxic behavior does not help you heal and doesn’t make you the bigger person. Although, 2020 definitely makes it hard with how easy it is to lurk, stay strong and stay above that behavior!
This is one of the hardest things you can do during a breakup, but it helps! Having a good outlook puts out good energy that will hopefully be returned. Realize that this is definitely not the end for you and although you may have imaged your life differently, it doesn’t mean better things aren’t coming your way.
Change can be scary but if you don’t move on, you’ll never know what’s waiting on the other side. Hey, as one door closes, another one opens!
What are some steps that you take to cope with a breakup? Drop a comment below and let us know!
Be sure to check out our latest article on online dating for when you are ready to put yourself out there again!