19 May How to Reconnect with an Old Friend | Scoop Sorority
If you’ve lost touch with an old friend, don’t feel guilty or embarrassed — you’re definitely not alone. During the pandemic, we’ve tried to live by the mantra, “closer together, farther apart.” But, for some of us, staying connected during quarantine has taken a backseat to our day-to-day responsibilities, our studies, and our careers.
That said, there’s no shame in reaching out to your day ones and scheduling a much-needed get together. Your besties probably miss you just as much as you miss them.
Do: Free Up Your Schedule Before You Reach Out
You’re so excited to hang out that you can hardly wait to pick up your phone and send that first “long time, no see” text. Before you pop back into a friend’s DMs or call their cell, make sure you’re in a good place to catch up.
Do you have the time in your schedule to go somewhere after work?
Do you have to be up early the next morning?
Will you be able to stay out an hour longer if your friend wants to order dessert?
The answer to those questions depends on you and your schedule. If you’re feeling nervous or unsure about squeezing a long-needed catch-up sesh into your busy schedule, it’s best to wait until your workload is lighter to phone your friend. The last thing you want to do is a cut things short.
Waiting until you’re more free to hang out will ensure that you give you and your bestie the time you guys both need to catch up and reminisce about the good old times.
Don’t: Be Afraid to Make the First Move
Reaching out to somebody you haven’t seen in a long time can get your mind, and heart, racing.
You might start overthinking and asking yourself questions like:
- Is it really worth the effort to get back in touch?
- What if my old friend doesn’t reply?
- What if it’s too late to reach out?
- What if our first meet up is awkward?
- What if we run out of things to talk about?
If any of these questions are racing through your mind, you’re definitely not alone.
The key to dealing with anxiety-inducing thoughts is realizing that they aren’t anchored in reality. It’s just your own self doubt talking!
Tune out that little voice in your head and don’t shy away from making the first move! Although putting yourself out there might increase your level of anxiety in the moment, making plans with old friends can remind you just how much fun socializing used to be and ease feelings of pandemic-induced social isolation. Have confidence in yourself and your friendships.
Do: Give Them a Call
You’re ready to reconnect with old friends, but you haven’t gotten your vaccine yet and would rather avoid public spaces.
You could FaceTime your friend, but you’re already feeling totally Zoomed out.
What’s a lonely girl to do?
If you’re looking to move beyond the texting stage with your favorite people, give them a call!
Although a phone call might feel less personal than meeting up in person, it is definitely a way more intimate form of communication than texting.
Feeling anxious about cold calling? Send a text first to ask if it’s a good time to call.
Don’t: Just Talk about Yourself
It’s been so long since you last saw each other and SO MUCH has changed. You’re dying to tell your friend all about your new apartment, your new boo and your new job.
While there’s nothing wrong with celebrating your major life updates, make sure to ask about your friend’s life as well. It’s likely your friend also undergone lots of personal growth in the past year or so. Ask them how they’re doing and let them talk. People who are “good listeners” forge the strongest, and most meaningful, friendships.
Do: Build on Conversation Starters
Starting conversations with something generic like, “how are you,” is a must.
But, you don’t have to, and shouldn’t, stop there!
People love to talk about themselves, so don’t be afraid to ask about your friend’s personal life to really help them open up!
Make sure to also ask more open ended questions like, “what have you been up to?” Your friend’s responses might range from the nitty gritty details of their new job or the ins-and-outs of their long-distance relationship. Whatever you guys talk about, make sure to follow up with more questions to show you’re really listening. Remember that you can add tons of depth to any chit chat just by using words like who, what, when, why and how.
Keep the questions flowing to prevent the conversation from running dry!
Don’t: Get Offended If They Don’t Respond Immediately
The last year and a half has been a rough time for all of us. It’s likely your friend has struggled with juggling personal and work-related tasks on top of managing his or her own mental health just as much as you have.
That said, if you haven’t received anything after sending the first text, don’t despair!
Your friend might need a couple of days to get back to you, and that’s OK!