12 Jan Zendaya Shares She Struggled to Find Her Identity Outside Of Work
Zendaya recently opened up about the hardships she has faced during COVID-19 downtime. The Emmy award winner got candid about how her time off has made her question who she really is. The actress got real in her recent GQ interview, explaining her loss of identity and not knowing who Zendaya is away from the cameras.
From Disney to Marvel, this star has given us some treats, but who is she when the cameras aren’t rolling? That’s what she wants to find out.
“I feel most like myself when I’m working. I felt like when I wasn’t working, my powers had gone away, and I was like, ‘Who the fuck?’” she continued stating “I didn’t really know who I was and what makes me happy. What do I like to do? What else do I do? What is my value? What is my purpose now?”
This free time was a first for Zendaya, as the actress explained she has been working consistently since her Disney days.
She said “it was my first time just being like, ‘Okay, who am I without this?’ Which is very scary thing to confront and work through, because I don’t really know Zendaya outside of the Zendaya who works. I didn’t realize how much my job and art were a part of my identity as a human.”
As the star did some soul-searching, she explained that she knows she’s the only one who can learn to answer those questions for herself. Zendaya added that she’s additionally working to accept that she won’t always be able to control how others perceive her.
“In this industry, I had to learn how to do small talk and stuff, because I guess I would kind of come off cold to people because I didn’t really know how to start conversation.” She added “I remember my stylist was like, ‘You come off kind of cold. People think you’re mean because you don’t talk,’ when really I was just too nervous.”
The movie star has taken the past couple months to reflect on her journey, anxiety and how to manage expectations. Zendaya has taken all this creative energy and put it into something new.
A New Project
In an effort to make her quarantine a little less blue, Zendaya reached out to “Euphoria” creator Sam Levinson to talk about a potential quarantine project. This conversation turned into a film titled “Malcolm & Marie,” a romantic drama starring Zendaya and John David Washington.
The black-and-white film was shot in a quick two weeks about a couple “trapped in a beautiful home as they attempt to exorcise their relationship’s demons.” The film will be ready to watch on Netflix on February 5th!